Una settimana all’IKEA

Siete mai stati un fine settimana, oppure in una giornata festiva, all'IKEA? No? Beh, allora è giunto davvero il tempo di provare!

Vi racconterò della mia meraviglia nella visita ai negozi giallo-blu di Milano Corsico. Ci sono stato ieri pomeriggio, con Laura, alla ricerca di quello che sarà il mio futuro lettino. Già, perché per adesso non ne ho ancora uno tutto mio; mi affido a quello di Laura e alla sua ospitalità.

Saliamo in macchina verso le quattro del pomeriggio: destinazione Milano. La strada statale stra-affollata, a causa del caos ai cimiteri di ieri pomeriggio (ma poi, i morti non vanno festeggiati oggi???), ci porta comunque alla tangenziale di Milano, e da lì in breve a Corsico. Intravediamo dalla distanza il palazzotto blu, sogno di tutti gli auto-arredatori, e nel contempo anche una fila pazzesca di macchine all'ingresso ma soprattutto il parcheggio del tutto pieno. Mai visto, davvero. Nemmeno fosse stata domenica!

Dopo un po' scovo da lontano quello che sarà il mio posto auto, lo punto, lo raggiungo con un paio di slalom e lo occupo. Prossimo obiettivo: l'ingresso dell'IKEA. Questo si raggiunge senza troppi drammi. Il dramma viene più avanti: muoversi all'interno del negozio. Avete presente quei film western in cui (non si capisce mai per quale motivo) si vede in fuga una mandria di bestiame? Ecco, rallentate la mandria, diminuite le dimensioni delle singole bestie a quelle di un uomo, incanalatela in un percorso predefinito e poi mettetegli davanti agli occhi un sacco di caramelle. Il fatto che le caramelle possano avere la forma di mobili, lampade o spazzoloni per il cesso non fa alcuna differenza. Ora potete avere un'idea di quello che è l'IKEA nei giorni di festa.

Morale della favola: Mr. IKEA & Co. è un gruppo di geni del commercio. Hanno creato il marchio, quindi possono vendervi tutto, senza motivo, senza che quello che comprate vi sia utile e con la ferma convinzione che il vostro sia stato un acquisto ottimo. Il fatto che dopo un paio di mesi possa capitarvi di andare ad acquistare lo stesso oggetto sempre all'IKEA non fa alcuna differenza. A voi.

IKEA ringrazia.

P.S. Il leopardo per ora dorme, aspettando il mio lettino, ma arriverà. State sicuri che arriverà. 

735 thoughts on “Una settimana all’IKEA

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